Part II of my earlier Post

Last year this time I picked up two wonderful people who were going on there yearly vacation. We discussed alot of things on the ride to airport, at the time I was living in the Shelter and looking for a place to live, and these two people remember every detail of our ride together, and I did too as we rode to the Airport, where I wished them a very very awesome and wonderful vacation , and I get to think back on if I made any progress from last year till now, and I guess maybe I did.

I have a roof over my head in a house where I lock my own refrigerator because we have a drunken thief living among us, and yes we know who he is, but we can not beat him up or really do anything about it, this is not the old west where we can just shoot him, a thought we all had , but we also know that our lives are not as bad as his, and in time he will be gone from here and hopefully we will be a happy house again.

I now have a car this year , where last year I did not, and I have found a few things about my health and thank God I am not yet diagnosed with Diabetes and or any other thing other than my sleep apnea, which has gotten better, but is there still.

I survived here in Saratoga Springs thruout  the winter working and driving day and night and yet after a year I almost feel a FAILURE, yes I am afraid I kinda do at that.

Over 1 year away from being on the road as a truck driver, living in the truck and getting unhealthier by the day, but here I am a year here in Healthy Saratoga and I am not 100lbs skinnier, or walking over a mile a day, or eating better, I mean really better, being broke is no excuse either to eat healthy, because Biscuits and Gravy are in-expensive and eggs and Ham and other convenient foods, but being around 400lbs still is not to me something to be proud of even thou I was nearly 500lbs, no, being around 300lbs might be something to say was a success, and possibly the Sleep Apnea may go away and walking and excersise may be easier , but they are not easy and chaffing , and other things keep from what I need to do, walking, what excuse do I have, none, well some are , no one to walk with, chaffing if not very careful, feet ache ,  charlie horse's when walking too much, which is not actually confirmed to me, I feel they come from being couped up in the cab all day and no excersise, no friends or support groups, why, because I am a HERMIT, I go no where, as there is a YMCA, for which I got a scholarship for 3 months and still do not go but 5 times, and now I owe 35.00, for which I do not have currently , I will yes but this serves as a excuse not to go. 

Sorry I got carried away looking back on the year I was here, when this about two great people who were my 1st fare to the airport that tipped me and talked to me like a person, and then to have them 1 year later was a blessing for me and them too they said, and yes they too had a rough year but, they made it thru and now will enjoy there hard work for the last year with a 3 week vacation, God Bless them, and me too, but seeing what real people do and then seeing what I have done was kinda sad to me , a silent wake up call to do something soon a s my life is slowly fading away, or so it seems, and I am in a City where spoiled brats and rich people come to play and flaunt what they have to others and I am the one who if they are smart, and most of them are , I drive them around after they drink some, and I am talked to in ways that few people should be, and I just take it in stride not knowing what else to do, it is the life I have chosen to live and until I CHOOSE OTHERWISE, it will continue to be that life I lead...happiness for my friends and sadness for me, and yet I still have the opportunity to become healthier, and find some career to enjoy or a business to open, but no I stay down where I am, like our drunken roommate who is slowly ruining his life, but I am not so drastically ruining mine, but then, yes I am kind'of.

I better stop before another book is written, take all and if my friends read this enjoy your vacation tremendously, you earned it, remember that please, and some day I will earn it too, that is my hope, a goal set in the future someday to accomplish..yeah right, later