PKTruckdriver

Okay after a day of being up and down I will just post that I am still a little down, and well I think the reason may be lack of active friends, yes friends who I actually do things with, of which I have almost none, sad when I look at it that way, but honestly I only have people I know from the Laptop, online , and of course my co-workers, but there is no mingling among us, any of us outside of work, yet...I am dying of loneliness and yet I have job where I meet tons of people everyday, yet nothing goes further than work only.

I been to the OTB here at the Harness Track 3 times , since the Flat Track closed last Sept, why, no reason that I can come up with, if I went more often no telling how many people I could have met by now that do what I love, but I been here a year and how many do I know, now, NONE AT ALL, sad it is.

I do volunteer at the track now and the people I am getting know do not speak English, most of them, and they are deep within the track where I could not go anyway, grooms and hotwalkers, etc..so they are not likely to invite me to lunch, nope.

I managed to stay out of Church and yet I went to a few and felt unwelcome  there  sadly enough, it just did not make me feel comfortable and this would be a vital part of y balanced well being, a spirtual well being, and 1 I do need, and I want also, so what is the problem, why again am I not there in a Church by now......why why why